Shaming Joy

This past week has been a tricky one. To give you a bit of an indication of my headspace, I started with a post titled ‘why are most adults such assholes?’ My husband saw my computer open and said in a slightly uneasy way, ‘interested to see where you go with this…’

He was right. Where was I going with this? It was actually a bit of a catalyst to sit with the experiences of the past little while and access that discomfort. What was I so upset about?

There are a lot of really great articles and studies out there about kids and negative emotions. As adults, the language we use with children experiencing big feelings can be really unhelpful. Phrases like ‘stop crying’, ‘why would you get upset about that?’ ‘be a big girl” ‘you are embarrassing me’ invalidate the negative emotions of children and begin a cycle of unhealthy emotional processing.

What I haven’t seen or read about, is how a lot of adults do exactly the same thing for positive emotions. It is a big can of worms. And once I started thinking about it, I couldn’t stop.

its me 3

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